Mindo: Remembering what it is like to breath

After a couple of weeks of not leaving Quito, I decided on Thursday that it would be a good idea to get the hell out. I mean, Quito is  not that bad, but I really do enjoy not having to feel like I am smoking a pack of cigarettes a day due to the damn smog that makes it so hard to breath.

I wanted to go to the coast but it was too far because we were leaving on Friday afternoon and coming back Sunday night. It just didn't make any sense to travel the 100 hours to make it to the coast for only a couple of days, OKAY?! Anyways, we (Stevie and I) decided that we would go to Mindo, an city that is located within a cloud forest. Best. decision. ever.

If you have ever been to Oregon, the Willamette Valley, not Southern or Eastern Oregon where everything is so dry and dead, you know that it is full of green plants and what not all over the place. Mainly because the godforsaken rain never stops. Never. Students get so pasty that they have to dim the lights all over campus because the light bulbs start giving everyone sunburns.

Well, Mindo looked like Oregon a lot. Especially the waterfalls that I went to on my last day there. We met some other tourists that became our friends and did all the adventuring and exploring of Mindo with us. We stayed in a cheap hostel and were like cabins. Mindo has approx. 2,000 residents but it is extremely quiet during the night. It took me back to living in the middle of nowhere Oregon, a.k.a. my house. While I was in bed all I heard was the river and the crickets...nothing else. It was such a nice change from the cars in Quito. The river combined with the crickets put me out.

The next day we had a full day planned ahead of us. We decided that we would do ziplining, tubing and go to where all the damn butterflies live!

Just to let you all know, I had NEVER been ziplining in my life before and I was just a little terrified. What if the effing cable decided that I was too much of a fat ass and it snapped?! I would plummet to my death and you all would cry because you would never get to see me again. I just know it. Well, the cable didn't break...I bet you were all wondering if I survived or not. I am safe. Thanks for worrying.

Well, I did 13 cables and it was the most fun thing I have ever done in my life. Going over the cloud forest was amazing. So much greennnnnnn. SEE. I am not lying! It really was an amazing experience. My favorite part was turning upside down on the last zip line. I thought I was going to fall out but it was super exciting anywayyyyyy. I guess the other part that made me uncomfortable was having to do the tricks with a guide...too close for comfort really. I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME SIRRRR.

Whatever. Afterwards we met some tourists who were going to do what we just did and I suggested they try the tricks, even though I didn't know them  I did the nice West Coast person thing where you are like...nice to people...so weird.

What do I get in return? I get the, "Why the f%*^ are you talking to us? Do we look like we are people you can talk to? Yeah, save your nice west coast attitude for your momma."

Okay, they didn't really say this but their look said it all. They looked at me as if I were speaking another language...or they thought I was stupid. The look was so rude and without any sort of kindness that it prompted Stevie to ask if they spoke English...of course they did, they were just rude East Coasters...assholes.

It's okay though, we eventually got the last laugh...like 10 minutes later when the same lady who looked at me with despise announced:

"OMG, I am totes going to flirt with our guides ;). I took a class on flirting and I am ready to try it out"

Not even kidding you. This woman had actually taken a class on how to flirt...yeah...pretty awkward. I was all like, excuse me lady, if you took classes on how to flirt you really shouldn't be announcing it to the world. I am pretty sure people will know when you try to flirt that you suck.  Also, you shouldn't be proud of that AND why would anyone teach such a class?!


WTF would such a class consist of anyway?! Teach people sleezy pick up lines? Teach em how to dougie (I am listening to this song right now and I thought it was funny, OKAY?!) ?

Anyway, we went to a butterfly place and there were a lot of butterflies there. It was kind of terrifying, they were flying all over the place and I am pretty sure they hadn't passed their Safe Flyer test because they kept flying into me. Provoking a very ridiculous flinch as if it were a bird coming at me...so dumb.

We also had the option of feeding these vicious insects on our fingers...um, no thanks. They have this long mouth thing that is scary and I didn't want to risk my life. I mean, they have beady little eyes and like feet that allow them to stick to things without falling. Not cool. 

We went tubing down a very tame river and I think at some point I actually fell asleep...it was quiet relaxing. The water was really cold though. Yeah...

Anyways, after a long day we got back to the town and ate good food. Afterwards, we went back to our cabins, at which point it was already dark and pouring. While standing in the doorway conversing, the killer from "I know what you did last summer" showed up at one of the doors. Needless to say, we were a little terrified, waiting for him to pull his hook out and kill us. I knew it was only a matter of seconds. Okay, it didn't happen but it was kind of scary. I mean he LOOKED like this guy:

See, you're scared too. Don't lie to yourself and much less me.

Well, we had a good time in Mindo. It was a very rural town and it was a nice escape from the smog infested city that is Quito.